Stop Expecting One Person to Have it All
Unrealistic expectations lead to undesired outcomes
Perfection is a myth. Yet, no matter how many times you come to this realization, you continue to chase this mythical unicorn.
Your best friend isn’t as good at basketball as you are, and you can’t bench press as much as he can.
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
You’ve already come to these conclusions and accepted your friends for who they are. Why is it that you can’t do the same when picking a partner?
In your hunt for a life partner, it’s time to stop expecting one person to have it all.
You're falling victim to the comparison trap again
You’re plagued by social media. Every time you start scrolling, you realize that someone out there is better at something than you are.
You aren’t as great as you thought.
As you self-esteem drops, the comparison trap of social media wins. So, you keep scrolling mindlessly.
This isn’t the only comparison trap, though.
A very similar trap exists in real life when you start comparing one person to another.
This is a very dangerous trap when you are picking a partner.
Your ex was a great communicator, but your new girlfriend keeps to herself. However, your girlfriend is great in bed, but your ex was not.
If only you can find someone who has it all…
All you need to do is mix and match these traits to create the perfect combination of your exs, right?
Wrong.
This is the trap that will leave you alone forever. The trap that makes you chase perfection.
This gets even harder the more people you date.
Eventually, you get to the point that only Wonder Woman can meet your expectations.
Break out of the comparison trap and start accepting the fact that everyone has flaws.
Take a look at yourself
Instead of trying to find someone who meets all of your increasingly high expectations, try to find someone who can tolerate all of your insane flaws.
Ooof, that’s a slap in the face.
It may seem harsh at first, but give it some thought.
You are flawed. Everyone is flawed.
The best thing you can do is find someone whose flaws you can accept and someone who can also accept yours.
You aren’t all that great, and you definitely aren’t perfect. So, stop expecting everyone else to be.
Many people saw you eat all 6 of those donuts last week.
Imagine if the guy you’re on a date with expected you to have income in the top 1%, be over 6 feet tall, have perfect hair, a family without issues and enough spare time to be there for them whenever needed.
Oddly enough, that’s your unrealistic expectations.
Maybe it’s because you are so used to putting humans together like your Hinge criteria, or maybe it’s because you are so happy on your own that you don’t want to settle…
But if you are to have proper expectations of others, you need to also have a realistic picture of yourself.
You’re flawed. I’m flawed. Your ex is flawed, and your future wife is also flawed.
Challenge yourself
There’s only really one solution here. You need to challenge yourself. Stretch your expectations a little.
You may want a guy who is 6 feet tall, but that’s less than 15% of the guys out there.
Let’s be honest here, you would be happy with the otherwise perfect guy if he were 5 feet 10 (plus you're 5’2” anyway, relax).
You may want a girl who has the perfect body, has never dated anyone “taller” than you, and is hilarious, but you’re only 5’5”, so that’s just unrealistic.
Stop expecting one person to have it all, and you’ll end up a lot happier.
Thanks for reading