7 Tiny Things Ex-Girlfriends Did That Strengthened Our Relationships
Lessons are learned in every relationship
You may not want to admit it, but every relationship you have ever been in has had moments of greatness.
Otherwise, you wouldn’t have started them in the first place.
Yes, I know, this means you have to admit that your exs weren’t all that bad (A difficult thing to do).
But by admitting this, you can see what you liked and learned, and then be better in future relationships.
In the spirit of positive reflection, I’m going to share with you tiny things exes did (while respecting privacy) that strengthened our relationship.
Take notes!
1. Eat before we fight
This is the greatest thing any girlfriend has ever done with me (and it is so god damn simple).
She understood that my mood fluctuated more whenever I was hungry.
I notoriously get hangry and am useless when I am.
So, anytime we would argue, the first thing she would say is: “Let’s eat and then see if we still want to argue about this.”
95% of the time, no argument followed.
2. Avoiding text for important conversations
There is nothing worse in a relationship than when you are texting, and something is completely misunderstood.
This is because had you communicated properly, things would be great!
An ex of mine was adamant about holding off on texting if it was anything important.
Checking up on each other or seeing where the other is? All good!
Want to bring up something that bothered you or talk shit about someone? Keep it to in-person or on the phone!
3. Showing genuine interest in what I enjoyed
One time, I was going off to a girlfriend about a super successful entrepreneur I admire, whom she didn’t know.
The next day, she came back and started asking me thoughtful questions.
She had done a little research and then asked me related questions to get me thinking.
Her intention? Purely to show interest in what I was interested in.
Another girlfriend did the same with my love for food (One of my favourite things to do is eat).
This girlfriend was borderline the opposite.
But when she realized how much eating new foods and certain foods meant to me, she decided to start exploring so she could share my interest.
Amazing.
4. Asking the reasoning behind my pet peeves or habits
We are all different. We like (or dislike) things for any number of reasons.
When you’re in a relationship, there is a lot of value in learning why your partner has weird pet peeves, their habits, and quirks.
The more you understand each other, the better you’ll get along.
One of my girlfriends did this so thoroughly that it completely changed my approach to how I get to know girls when considering them as potential partners.
It is hard to beat the feeling of being understood.
5. Bringing me back to what is important
Life is full of ups and downs. This is perhaps even more exaggerated in the life of an entrepreneur, especially going through COVID lockdowns.
I have trouble paying attention (I daydream). That is, until I become hyperfixated on something.
This is why I can remain productive for hours and accomplish things quickly when I am committed to a mission.
The downside is I tend to lose sight of everything else around me, though. In the past, this has included relationships.
I had a girlfriend who was incredible at bringing me to what’s important.
Didn’t matter whether it was reminding me to reach out to my mom, spend time with friends, or simply put my phone down for an hour.
She did it, and it was appreciated.
Many girlfriends tried to do this, but one in particular approached this with an understanding of who I am.
She did this with love and the right intention.
6. Always challenging me
I’ve been in relationships where my girlfriend doubted me and would get upset that I was spending too much time on something she didn’t believe in.
This is not the “challenging” I’m referring to.
One girlfriend would ask me why I was working on something, or why I was presenting a brand or business in a certain way.
She wasn’t doing it because she doubted me.
She wanted to understand what I was doing while refining my thinking.
It was like having an intellectual sparring partner who was motivated by love.
An underrated perk.
7. Ensuring I know she’s there for me
When you’re at a big social event, everyone is saying hi, and the singles are seeing who else is single.
I’ve never necessarily been the jealous type.
This girlfriend knew I didn’t care if guys hit on her, but she would still make it clear that she was there with me.
It was subtle at times, such as just grabbing my hand or introducing me to a guy who was clearly trying to take her away.
But other times, she wanted to prove a point and would kiss me in front of whoever, shamelessly.
She did what she felt was necessary based on how heavily she was being hit on.
It was very thoughtful.
To wrap it up
There’s always something to learn from each relationship.
These lessons are not only useful to help you refine what you’re looking for, but they can also show you how to be a better partner moving forward.
What’s something you loved that an ex did?
Thanks for reading