5 Tactics To Help You Cut Toxic People out of Your Life Peacefully
Red flags are best left at a distance
A lot of people reached out to me, saying they have toxic people in their lives, but they don’t know how to get rid of them.
This was after they read my article, “5 Clear Signs That Someone is Toxic (and Should be Avoided)”.
The issue they face is not unique.
Those who have toxic people in their lives are often very empathetic and are hoping for the best. They care for the toxic ones and feel that maybe… they’ll come around.
The sad truth is they rarely do.
And the longer you keep them in your life, the more they’ll drag you down.
So, here are 5 tactics to help you get toxic people out of your life, peacefully.
1. Set very clear boundaries
You’ve been allowing the toxic ones to cross your boundaries and continuously make excuses for them.
It’s time to set boundaries and make them clear.
You can give this person (or people) one more chance. Let them know your boundaries, and let them know the repercussions if they cross them.
Explain to them why you set these boundaries and how much it would mean to you if they respected them.
Now, they have no excuse.
If they cross the boundary, they are blatantly disrespecting you, and you can cut them off guilt-free.
2. Slowly reduce contact
This isn’t always the best approach, but sometimes it is the safest and best option.
All you have to do is slowly reduce contact.
This means you start to take longer to respond to texts, or you return calls much later.
This also means you are no longer always available to hang out with them. You can even place personal boundaries here, where you will only see them with others around.
Eventually, they’ll start to separate their time more to others, and it will become easier to cut them out completely.
The goal here is to ease out of your relationship with them so they don’t react harshly and emotionally.
3. Sit them down, and tell them how it is
This approach won’t work for everyone. It is very personality-dependent.
Given that a lot of you are likely empathetic people, you may not be able to do this.
If you can, though, it is the fastest, most effective, and most respectful way to get a toxic person out.
It’s as simple as this.
You sit them down, tell them why you no longer want them in your life, and then follow through on your promise.
It’s important that a toxic individual understands why they are toxic.
Often, they go through life not realizing their issues. They’ve never had someone tell them how it is.
It may come off as a rude awakening, but you may be doing them a favour. This can be the push they need to change.
Don’t take that as a reason to keep in contact with them.
It is not your job to make them change. You are cutting them off because you are sick of being collateral damage in their journey.
4. Prioritize self-care
Since the reason you are cutting out toxic people is that you want to improve your life, prioritizing self-care is the natural step to take.
Start to do more things for yourself. Fill up your calendar with “you” things.
The next time the toxic person tries to see you, you will be too busy reading, working out, or catching up on sleep.
Maybe you want to start writing a book, dance alone in your room, go get a massage, or take a nice walk in nature.
Whatever it is, prioritize that.
You’ll notice the toxic ones will start to criticize that. They’ll tell you it’s dumb and you should go hang out with them instead.
Even more reason to cut them off. The good ones will encourage your self-care.
Make sure you are so busy taking care of yourself that you have no time to entertain toxicity.
5. Reframe the relationship in your mind
It can be hard to cut off someone who is toxic because they weren’t always toxic. When you first met them, they were nice to you, and you enjoyed their company.
Because of this, you keep thinking about how if they’d only go back to how they used to be… then it would all be okay.
The longer you hold onto this mindset, the more damage this person will cause.
Reframe who they are and what your relationship is like.
Yes, they were once a good person (perhaps), but they are no longer that person. The memories will always be there, but the longer you keep them around, the more those memories will be replaced with bad ones.
You don’t need this person in your daily life anymore.
You shouldn’t feel like you're abandoning them by cutting them out. They abandoned you when they started treating you poorly and disrespecting your boundaries.
To improve your life, you need to save your time for those who treat you the way you deserve.
Reframing the relationship like this in your mind will make it easy for you to walk away guilt-free.
Closing thoughts
Successfully cutting someone toxic out of your life will help you in just about every way.
You’ll feel as if your positive energy is sticking with you all day long.
All of this is, of course, easier said than done.
But now that you know how to do it, you can take the first step and get the process of your choice started.
Thanks for reading